You know you're from Lackawanna County when...
You understand that you can still buy a home in Carbondale for $25,000, put $25,000 into it,and sell it for $35,000.
You don't know anybody who moved into Scranton in the last 10 years.
Your Chamber of Commerce President makes $165,000/yr to tell us how great it is that a new company is bringing 200 new jobs to Scranton which pay almost $7.00/hr.
For some strange reason, you know that Jermyn is the birthplace of first-aid.
You know someone who uses Genny beer balls as accent lighting.
You cant decide what's better Coney Island Hotdogs or Carawanna Burgers.
You know the difference between the Riverside & Nebraska sections of Archbald.
And the Fern Hill and Grassy sections of Olyphant.
You think that Tom Clark is a smart dresser.
You can automatically be considered a good canidate if your last name is Casey...experience not necessary
You can be given the endorsement of a political party strictly on your ethnic background...once again ...experience not necessary
The District Attorney can be elected to office 3 times even though he's never been inside a courtroom
You've actually seen homes that use old galvanized hot-water tanks as fencing.
You know what COLT stands for or care what SLIBCO stands for
You know someone who actually use to go to Chapman Lake to meet women
You prefer to have your crap run into your local creek than have sewers put in
You know how to spell Throop but you call it Troop
You continue to vote for Joe Corcoran even though he thinks the Northern Border of Lackawanna County is Drinker Street
You read the paper each morning with eager anticipation because maybe today's the day that Ernie Preate will get his license to practice law back
You continue to vote for an idiot like Jim Connors.
You wish there was an alternative to the TIMES-TRIBUNE
You're not worried about that fire plug in front of your house working because your property has depreciated so badly you hope it burns.
You know somebody who's got a real high paying job at Marion Community Hospital...making almost $8.00/hour.
You can't give directions without pointing, even if you're on the phone (Most directions begin with "You know where the anchor is?" -or- "you know where the tank is?")
You continue to pull over everday on the "new highway" because you car has a funny smell, strange how it always happens in the same location (ever hear of the landfill)
You tell everyone from out of town that the reason you live here is its cool even though you never lived anywhere else.
You think "dinner and a show", is a movie at the cinema and a quick bite at the food court
You still think guys with full length leather coats are in style.
You know somebody who makes homemade wine.
You know somebody who's a bookie.
You go to the DA's office to place your bets and buy used cars
You cant afford to fly out of Avoca
You realize you can make more being a bookie than working full time
You still like the Old Walmart better than the new one....rocks and all
Everytime your put in the DUI van, the DA is chained up next to you
Your kid goes to Mid Valley or Valley View and calls in the local radio station to let all his classmates know where the beer party is....everybody in NEPA is there.
You're too cool for Atlantic City, cause you know the Indian Reservation is only 2 hours away
You partied up the Paupack last summer
You bitch about how bad the Red Barons are, and how the Phillies keep taking their good players
You always wanted to actually see the PotHole but wouldn't be caught driving in there.
You know the difference between the new mall and the old mall.
You realize how much The Grump resembles Joe Corcoran
Cant believe how much time the "new highway saves"
You think Wilkes-Barre is so far away
You're a part time contractor
You can't believe how many Mercedes, and BMW,s there are when you go to Jersey.
You can spend a half hour trying to decide which morning paper to buy...even though we only have one
You're still pissed about that damn commuter tax.
You pay the cities Mercantile tax to operate your business there because you get professional fire & police protection, yet Scranton was the only dept in the county with faulty hydrants....hmm!!
Your parents use to take you for ice cream to Mannings so you could smell the cow poop
Your chuchi died and now a bunch of outta towners live next door to your noni
A piss poor lawyer with a rich wife can end up running for judge...un-opposed!!!
You can't afford to send your kid "tudda U"
You catch yourself dreaming about hunting season.
You personally know at least two people who own or have owned a pizza/hoagie establishment
You're jealous of people who have watched the red barons from "Da luxury box"
You think Old Forge actually has the best pizza in the world
You still wonder what happened to dialing for dollars star John Glaw
You know a shortcut to the Nicholson Bridge
You never actually see anyone looking at cars at Domianos, but wonder how he does so well.
You know the difference between the Russian church, and the Polish church in Mayfield.
Your proud of the fact the that the greatest actor in the world, Jason Miller, is from Scranton.
You live in a white house with a green or black roof.
Your car/truck is more than 6 years old.